@LATE_SHOW_LURKER2026-01-12 14:00 UTC
The Family Plan has the emotional range of a fridge magnet.
“The devil tomato walked out.”
— THE DEVIL TOMATO
ADVERTISEMENTReserved space
2023 · Action / Comedy / Adventure
The Family Plan
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED28%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED34%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
— WHERE TO WATCH
🔥 The Devil Tomato is sniffing out streaming services…
LUKEWARM · INOFFENSIVE
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
Dan Morgan is many things: a devoted husband, a loving father, a celebrated car salesman. He's also a former assassin. And when his past catches up to his present, he's forced to take his unsuspecting family on a road trip unlike any other.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
💀 APPLYING THIRD-DEGREE BURNS…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2023
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Action / Comedy / Adventure
PLOT SUMMARY
Dan Morgan is many things: a devoted husband, a loving father, a celebrated car salesman. He's also a former assassin. And when his past catches up to his present, he's forced to take his unsuspecting family on a road trip unlike any other.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@TRAILER_TROLL2026-01-06 08:00 UTC
The Family Plan is what improv class warned you about.
@AISLE_GHOUL2026-01-03 00:00 UTC
The Family Plan is what happens when a writers' room confuses "ambiguous" with "didn't finish the draft".
@POPCORN_CRITIC2026-01-16 02:00 UTC
The Family Plan: where physics filed for emotional distress and lost.
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/criticalkino · u/ContinuityKaren🔥 4.6k points
Unpopular opinion: The Family Plan is the most overrated film of the decade
Look, I wanted to love The Family Plan. The trailer had me hyped. But sitting through the second hour felt like a homework assignment. The dialogue is exposition stacked on exposition and the score keeps telling me how to feel.
💬 144 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/criticalkino · u/ExpositionDump🔥 4.9k points
Why does no one talk about how mid the writing in The Family Plan actually is?
Honestly, The Family Plan would be a tight 95-minute movie. Instead we got a bloated runtime padded with B-roll and lingering shots that add nothing.
💬 1,045 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/TrueFilm · u/ContinuityKaren🔥 4.1k points
[Serious Discussion] Is anyone else completely checked out by the pacing in The Family Plan?
Director clearly thought The Family Plan was deeper than it is. There's a difference between ambiguous and unfinished, and this leans hard into the second.
💬 1,084 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/boxoffice · u/CinephileCynic🔥 3.1k points
Hot Take: The Family Plan's third act ruined what could have been a masterpiece
Everyone praising the The Family Plan performances must have watched a different cut. The lead is sleepwalking through this and the supporting cast can't save it.
💬 441 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD