@ENDING_LEAKS2026-01-28 22:00 UTC
If Captain Phillips was a meal, it'd be unsalted rice with extra ego.
“The devil tomato approves... reluctantly.”
— THE DEVIL TOMATO
ADVERTISEMENTReserved space
2013 · Action / Drama / Thriller
Captain Phillips
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED25%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED31%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
— WHERE TO WATCH
🔥 The Devil Tomato is sniffing out streaming services…
LUKEWARM · INOFFENSIVE
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
The true story of Captain Richard Phillips and the 2009 hijacking by Somali pirates of the US-flagged MV Maersk Alabama, the first American cargo ship to be hijacked in two hundred years.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
💀 APPLYING THIRD-DEGREE BURNS…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2013
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Action / Drama / Thriller
PLOT SUMMARY
The true story of Captain Richard Phillips and the 2009 hijacking by Somali pirates of the US-flagged MV Maersk Alabama, the first American cargo ship to be hijacked in two hundred years.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@SCREEN_SHADE2026-01-29 12:00 UTC
Watched Captain Phillips so you don't have to. You're welcome.
@LATE_SHOW_LURKER2026-01-14 14:00 UTC
If whispered monologues were currency, Captain Phillips would settle the national debt.
@TRAILER_TROLL2026-01-06 21:00 UTC
Captain Phillips confuses "subtle" with "the cast forgot to act".
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/flicks · u/ContinuityKaren🔥 0.5k points
Why does no one talk about how mid the writing in Captain Phillips actually is?
Rewatched Captain Phillips last night and noticed even more plot holes than the first time. The motivations don't track at all once you stop and think about act two.
💬 422 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/movies · u/ThirdActTrouble🔥 4.7k points
Hot Take: Captain Phillips's third act ruined what could have been a masterpiece
Look, I wanted to love Captain Phillips. The trailer had me hyped. But sitting through the second hour felt like a homework assignment. The dialogue is exposition stacked on exposition and the score keeps telling me how to feel.
💬 1,558 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/TrueFilm · u/ThirdActTrouble🔥 3.6k points
[Spoilers] Can we discuss that absolutely baffling ending in Captain Phillips?
Honestly, Captain Phillips would be a tight 95-minute movie. Instead we got a bloated runtime padded with B-roll and lingering shots that add nothing.
💬 1,525 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/flicks · u/JumpCutJunkie🔥 1.9k points
The cinematography in Captain Phillips is doing all the heavy lifting and it shows
Director clearly thought Captain Phillips was deeper than it is. There's a difference between ambiguous and unfinished, and this leans hard into the second.
💬 1,578 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD