@CREDITS_FLEE2026-01-08 11:00 UTC
If Shaolin Soccer was a meal, it'd be unsalted rice with extra ego.
“Two thumbs down from hell.”
— THE DEVIL TOMATO
ADVERTISEMENTReserved space
2004 · Action / Comedy
Shaolin Soccer
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED28%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED34%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
— WHERE TO WATCH
🔥 The Devil Tomato is sniffing out streaming services…
LUKEWARM · INOFFENSIVE
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
A young Shaolin follower reunites with his discouraged brothers to form a soccer team using their martial art skills to their advantage.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
🔥 CHARRING THE SCRIPT…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2004
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Action / Comedy
PLOT SUMMARY
A young Shaolin follower reunites with his discouraged brothers to form a soccer team using their martial art skills to their advantage.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
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Public Roast Feed
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/movies · u/ContinuityKaren🔥 0.9k points
The cinematography in Shaolin Soccer is doing all the heavy lifting and it shows
Just got out of Shaolin Soccer and I'm convinced critics are being paid in residuals. Two genuinely good scenes do not make a film. Convince me otherwise.
💬 712 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/criticalkino · u/PopcornPhilosopher🔥 1.9k points
[Serious Discussion] Is anyone else completely checked out by the pacing in Shaolin Soccer?
Everyone praising the Shaolin Soccer performances must have watched a different cut. The lead is sleepwalking through this and the supporting cast can't save it.
💬 1,544 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/TrueFilm · u/FrameByFrameFred🔥 1.2k points
[Spoilers] Can we discuss that absolutely baffling ending in Shaolin Soccer?
Honestly, Shaolin Soccer would be a tight 95-minute movie. Instead we got a bloated runtime padded with B-roll and lingering shots that add nothing.
💬 1,534 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/boxoffice · u/ExpositionDump🔥 2.3k points
Unpopular opinion: Shaolin Soccer is the most overrated film of the decade
Rewatched Shaolin Soccer last night and noticed even more plot holes than the first time. The motivations don't track at all once you stop and think about act two.
💬 1,804 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD