@RATIO_RAT2026-01-23 13:00 UTC
Watched Blended so you don't have to. You're welcome.
“This film is a war crime against cinema.”
— THE DEVIL TOMATO
ADVERTISEMENTReserved space
2014 · Comedy / Romance
Blended
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED31%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED37%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
— WHERE TO WATCH
🔥 The Devil Tomato is sniffing out streaming services…
LUKEWARM · INOFFENSIVE
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
Recently divorced mom Lauren and widowed dad Jim let their friends push them into a blind date, which goes disastrously wrong. Unsurprisingly, neither wants to see the other ever again. However, fate intervenes when both Jim and Lauren, unbeknownst to each other, purchase one-half of the same vacation package at a South African resort for families, during spring break. They and their children are forced to share the same romantic suite and participate in a slew of family activities together.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
🔥 CHARRING THE SCRIPT…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2014
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Comedy / Romance
PLOT SUMMARY
Recently divorced mom Lauren and widowed dad Jim let their friends push them into a blind date, which goes disastrously wrong. Unsurprisingly, neither wants to see the other ever again. However, fate intervenes when both Jim and Lauren, unbeknownst to each other, purchase one-half of the same vacation package at a South African resort for families, during spring break. They and their children are forced to share the same romantic suite and participate in a slew of family activities together.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@REEL_DEAL2026-01-11 20:00 UTC
Blended has the emotional range of a fridge magnet.
@ROW_F_REGRET2026-01-20 18:00 UTC
Laughed twice during Blended. Once was a sneeze.
@ENDING_LEAKS2026-01-24 23:00 UTC
Blended: an airport-run cliché stretched into a feature film.
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/movies · u/ContinuityKaren🔥 1.9k points
Why does no one talk about how mid the writing in Blended actually is?
Honestly, Blended would be a tight 95-minute movie. Instead we got a bloated runtime padded with B-roll and lingering shots that add nothing.
💬 427 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/TrueFilm · u/ScriptDoctor99🔥 2.5k points
The cinematography in Blended is doing all the heavy lifting and it shows
Everyone praising the Blended performances must have watched a different cut. The lead is sleepwalking through this and the supporting cast can't save it.
💬 1,627 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/flicks · u/ScriptDoctor99🔥 4.2k points
[Serious Discussion] Is anyone else completely checked out by the pacing in Blended?
Director clearly thought Blended was deeper than it is. There's a difference between ambiguous and unfinished, and this leans hard into the second.
💬 1,006 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD