@AISLE_GHOUL2026-01-25 10:00 UTC
If The Witch was a meal, it'd be unsalted rice with extra ego.
“Two thumbs down from hell.”
— THE DEVIL TOMATO
ADVERTISEMENTReserved space
2016 · Horror
The Witch
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED30%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED36%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
— WHERE TO WATCH
🔥 The Devil Tomato is sniffing out streaming services…
LUKEWARM · INOFFENSIVE
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
In 1630, a farmer relocates his family to a remote plot of land on the edge of a forest where strange, unsettling things happen. With suspicion and paranoia mounting, each family member's faith, loyalty and love are tested in shocking ways.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
🧂 SALTING THE WOUNDS…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2016
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Horror
PLOT SUMMARY
In 1630, a farmer relocates his family to a remote plot of land on the edge of a forest where strange, unsettling things happen. With suspicion and paranoia mounting, each family member's faith, loyalty and love are tested in shocking ways.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@POPCORN_CRITIC2026-01-12 18:00 UTC
Counted the jumpscares in The Witch. Lost count. Lost interest. Refunded the popcorn emotionally.
@CREDITS_FLEE2026-01-21 05:00 UTC
The Witch has the emotional range of a fridge magnet.
@RATIO_RAT2026-01-10 05:00 UTC
Watched The Witch so you don't have to. You're welcome.
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/criticalkino · u/PracticalFX_Stan🔥 3.9k points
Why does no one talk about how mid the writing in The Witch actually is?
Rewatched The Witch last night and noticed even more plot holes than the first time. The motivations don't track at all once you stop and think about act two.
💬 1,788 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/boxoffice · u/FrameByFrameFred🔥 0.8k points
[Spoilers] Can we discuss that absolutely baffling ending in The Witch?
Look, I wanted to love The Witch. The trailer had me hyped. But sitting through the second hour felt like a homework assignment. The dialogue is exposition stacked on exposition and the score keeps telling me how to feel.
💬 1,344 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/flicks · u/PopcornPhilosopher🔥 2.8k points
The cinematography in The Witch is doing all the heavy lifting and it shows
Just got out of The Witch and I'm convinced critics are being paid in residuals. Two genuinely good scenes do not make a film. Convince me otherwise.
💬 800 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/boxoffice · u/ThirdActTrouble🔥 1.0k points
[Serious Discussion] Is anyone else completely checked out by the pacing in The Witch?
Everyone praising the The Witch performances must have watched a different cut. The lead is sleepwalking through this and the supporting cast can't save it.
💬 1,617 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD