Watched Uncharted so you don't have to. You're welcome.

“This tomato has seen things.”
Uncharted
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
An absolute cinematic disaster.
A young street-smart, Nathan Drake and his wisecracking partner Victor “Sully” Sullivan embark on a dangerous pursuit of “the greatest treasure never found” while also tracking clues that may lead to Nathan’s long-lost brother.
🍅 THE DEVIL TOMATO IS CACKLING IN THE PROJECTION BOOTH…
A young street-smart, Nathan Drake and his wisecracking partner Victor “Sully” Sullivan embark on a dangerous pursuit of “the greatest treasure never found” while also tracking clues that may lead to Nathan’s long-lost brother.
Cast information unavailable.
Public Roast Feed
The science in Uncharted has the same relationship to physics that I have to going to the gym: aspirational.
Counted four explosions before the studio logo finished. Uncharted knows its audience.
I've seen screen savers with more depth and fewer unnecessary lens flares than Uncharted.
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
[Spoilers] Can we discuss that absolutely baffling ending in Uncharted?
Director clearly thought Uncharted was deeper than it is. There's a difference between ambiguous and unfinished, and this leans hard into the second.
The cinematography in Uncharted is doing all the heavy lifting and it shows
Rewatched Uncharted last night and noticed even more plot holes than the first time. The motivations don't track at all once you stop and think about act two.
[Serious Discussion] Is anyone else completely checked out by the pacing in Uncharted?
Look, I wanted to love Uncharted. The trailer had me hyped. But sitting through the second hour felt like a homework assignment. The dialogue is exposition stacked on exposition and the score keeps telling me how to feel.
