@SCREEN_SHADE2026-01-17 08:00 UTC
Watched Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore so you don't have to. You're welcome.
“Not even a post-credits scene could save this.”
— THE DEVIL TOMATO
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2022 · Fantasy / Adventure
Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED34%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED40%
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TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
— WHERE TO WATCH
🔥 The Devil Tomato is sniffing out streaming services…
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Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
Professor Albus Dumbledore knows the powerful, dark wizard Gellert Grindelwald is moving to seize control of the wizarding world. Unable to stop him alone, he entrusts magizoologist Newt Scamander to lead an intrepid team of wizards and witches. They soon encounter an array of old and new beasts as they clash with Grindelwald's growing legion of followers.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
🔥 CHARRING THE SCRIPT…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2022
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Fantasy / Adventure
PLOT SUMMARY
Professor Albus Dumbledore knows the powerful, dark wizard Gellert Grindelwald is moving to seize control of the wizarding world. Unable to stop him alone, he entrusts magizoologist Newt Scamander to lead an intrepid team of wizards and witches. They soon encounter an array of old and new beasts as they clash with Grindelwald's growing legion of followers.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@LATE_SHOW_LURKER2026-01-08 17:00 UTC
Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore: proof the studio reads its own marketing too literally.
@TRAILER_TROLL2026-01-04 04:00 UTC
The science in Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore has the same relationship to physics that I have to going to the gym: aspirational.
@AISLE_GHOUL2026-01-16 16:00 UTC
Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore has the emotional range of a fridge magnet.
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/criticalkino · u/ThirdActTrouble🔥 4.7k points
[Spoilers] Can we discuss that absolutely baffling ending in Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore?
Look, I wanted to love Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore. The trailer had me hyped. But sitting through the second hour felt like a homework assignment. The dialogue is exposition stacked on exposition and the score keeps telling me how to feel.
💬 1,875 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/movies · u/ThirdActTrouble🔥 1.1k points
The cinematography in Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore is doing all the heavy lifting and it shows
Honestly, Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore would be a tight 95-minute movie. Instead we got a bloated runtime padded with B-roll and lingering shots that add nothing.
💬 393 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/TrueFilm · u/PopcornPhilosopher🔥 3.8k points
[Serious Discussion] Is anyone else completely checked out by the pacing in Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore?
Rewatched Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore last night and noticed even more plot holes than the first time. The motivations don't track at all once you stop and think about act two.
💬 591 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/criticalkino · u/FrameByFrameFred🔥 2.2k points
Why does no one talk about how mid the writing in Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore actually is?
Director clearly thought Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore was deeper than it is. There's a difference between ambiguous and unfinished, and this leans hard into the second.
💬 1,023 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD