@SCREEN_SHADE2026-01-19 00:00 UTC
Priest has the emotional range of a fridge magnet.
“Not even a post-credits scene could save this.”
— THE DEVIL TOMATO
ADVERTISEMENTReserved space
2011 · Action / Fantasy / Horror
Priest
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED41%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED47%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
— WHERE TO WATCH
🔥 The Devil Tomato is sniffing out streaming services…
LUKEWARM · INOFFENSIVE
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
In an alternate world, humanity and vampires have warred for centuries. After the last Vampire War, the veteran Warrior Priest lives in obscurity with other humans inside one of the Church's walled cities. When the Priest's niece is kidnapped by vampires, the Priest breaks his vows to hunt them down. He is accompanied by the niece's boyfriend, who is a wasteland sheriff, and a former Warrior Priestess.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
🔥 CHARRING THE SCRIPT…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2011
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Action / Fantasy / Horror
PLOT SUMMARY
In an alternate world, humanity and vampires have warred for centuries. After the last Vampire War, the veteran Warrior Priest lives in obscurity with other humans inside one of the Church's walled cities. When the Priest's niece is kidnapped by vampires, the Priest breaks his vows to hunt them down. He is accompanied by the niece's boyfriend, who is a wasteland sheriff, and a former Warrior Priestess.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@LATE_SHOW_LURKER2026-01-09 13:00 UTC
Priest: every character holds the idiot ball with both hands and a strap.
@TRAILER_TROLL2026-01-04 14:00 UTC
Priest is what happens when a writers' room confuses "ambiguous" with "didn't finish the draft".
@AISLE_GHOUL2026-01-01 21:00 UTC
Priest: where physics filed for emotional distress and lost.
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/criticalkino · u/CinephileCynic🔥 1.3k points
Unpopular opinion: Priest is the most overrated film of the decade
Look, I wanted to love Priest. The trailer had me hyped. But sitting through the second hour felt like a homework assignment. The dialogue is exposition stacked on exposition and the score keeps telling me how to feel.
💬 149 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/flicks · u/ReelTalkRanter🔥 1.4k points
Why does no one talk about how mid the writing in Priest actually is?
Just got out of Priest and I'm convinced critics are being paid in residuals. Two genuinely good scenes do not make a film. Convince me otherwise.
💬 620 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/criticalkino · u/CinephileCynic🔥 2.0k points
Hot Take: Priest's third act ruined what could have been a masterpiece
Honestly, Priest would be a tight 95-minute movie. Instead we got a bloated runtime padded with B-roll and lingering shots that add nothing.
💬 120 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD