@SCREEN_SHADE2026-01-19 05:00 UTC
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is what happens when a writers' room confuses "ambiguous" with "didn't finish the draft".
“Straight to the compost bin.”
— THE DEVIL TOMATO
ADVERTISEMENTReserved space
2013 · Fantasy / Adventure / Action
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED24%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED30%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
— WHERE TO WATCH
🔥 The Devil Tomato is sniffing out streaming services…
LUKEWARM · INOFFENSIVE
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
The Dwarves, Bilbo and Gandalf have successfully escaped the Misty Mountains, and Bilbo has gained the One Ring. They all continue their journey to get their gold back from the Dragon, Smaug.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
🔥 CHARRING THE SCRIPT…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2013
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Fantasy / Adventure / Action
PLOT SUMMARY
The Dwarves, Bilbo and Gandalf have successfully escaped the Misty Mountains, and Bilbo has gained the One Ring. They all continue their journey to get their gold back from the Dragon, Smaug.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@LATE_SHOW_LURKER2026-01-24 16:00 UTC
If exposition were a contact sport, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug would be banned for life.
@TRAILER_TROLL2026-01-27 04:00 UTC
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug treats "worldbuilding" the way a toddler treats a fruit bowl — enthusiastically, briefly, then forgotten.
@AISLE_GHOUL2026-01-13 04:00 UTC
Counted four explosions before the studio logo finished. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug knows its audience.
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/criticalkino · u/ExpositionDump🔥 1.8k points
The cinematography in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is doing all the heavy lifting and it shows
Rewatched The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug last night and noticed even more plot holes than the first time. The motivations don't track at all once you stop and think about act two.
💬 1,091 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/flicks · u/CinephileCynic🔥 3.3k points
Why does no one talk about how mid the writing in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug actually is?
Just got out of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and I'm convinced critics are being paid in residuals. Two genuinely good scenes do not make a film. Convince me otherwise.
💬 366 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/TrueFilm · u/BoomMicBoomer🔥 0.7k points
[Spoilers] Can we discuss that absolutely baffling ending in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug?
Honestly, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug would be a tight 95-minute movie. Instead we got a bloated runtime padded with B-roll and lingering shots that add nothing.
💬 1,145 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/boxoffice · u/ExpositionDump🔥 1.8k points
[Serious Discussion] Is anyone else completely checked out by the pacing in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug?
Everyone praising the The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug performances must have watched a different cut. The lead is sleepwalking through this and the supporting cast can't save it.
💬 954 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD