@ROW_F_REGRET2025-12-18 17:00 UTC
The science in Ted has the same relationship to physics that I have to going to the gym: aspirational.
“Script was written in ketchup.”
— THE DEVIL TOMATO
ADVERTISEMENTReserved space
2012 · Comedy / Fantasy
Ted
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED35%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED41%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
— WHERE TO WATCH
🔥 The Devil Tomato is sniffing out streaming services…
LUKEWARM · INOFFENSIVE
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
John Bennett, a man whose childhood wish of bringing his teddy bear to life came true, now must decide between keeping the relationship with the bear or his girlfriend, Lori.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
🌶️ SHARPENING THE HORNS…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2012
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Comedy / Fantasy
PLOT SUMMARY
John Bennett, a man whose childhood wish of bringing his teddy bear to life came true, now must decide between keeping the relationship with the bear or his girlfriend, Lori.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@ENDING_LEAKS2025-12-24 22:00 UTC
Ted put every joke in the trailer and then dared us to sit through the rest.
@SCREEN_SHADE2025-12-12 19:00 UTC
Laughed twice during Ted. Once was a sneeze.
@LATE_SHOW_LURKER2025-12-06 12:00 UTC
Ted is what improv class warned you about.
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/TrueFilm · u/ContinuityKaren🔥 1.1k points
Unpopular opinion: Ted is the most overrated film of the decade
Everyone praising the Ted performances must have watched a different cut. The lead is sleepwalking through this and the supporting cast can't save it.
💬 686 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/flicks · u/ReelTalkRanter🔥 2.6k points
Hot Take: Ted's third act ruined what could have been a masterpiece
Look, I wanted to love Ted. The trailer had me hyped. But sitting through the second hour felt like a homework assignment. The dialogue is exposition stacked on exposition and the score keeps telling me how to feel.
💬 342 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/criticalkino · u/ReelTalkRanter🔥 3.0k points
[Spoilers] Can we discuss that absolutely baffling ending in Ted?
Honestly, Ted would be a tight 95-minute movie. Instead we got a bloated runtime padded with B-roll and lingering shots that add nothing.
💬 1,457 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/TrueFilm · u/BoomMicBoomer🔥 3.3k points
The cinematography in Ted is doing all the heavy lifting and it shows
Just got out of Ted and I'm convinced critics are being paid in residuals. Two genuinely good scenes do not make a film. Convince me otherwise.
💬 1,111 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD