@AISLE_GHOUL2025-12-09 15:00 UTC
The Closer thinks "scary" means turning the lights off and slamming a kitchen drawer.
“The devil tomato walked out.”
— THE DEVIL TOMATO
ADVERTISEMENTReserved space
2005 · Crime / Drama / Mystery
The Closer
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED22%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED28%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
— WHERE TO WATCH
🔥 The Devil Tomato is sniffing out streaming services…
LUKEWARM · INOFFENSIVE
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
Deputy Police Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson transfers from Atlanta to LA to head up a special unit of the LAPD that handles sensitive, high-profile murder cases. Johnson's quirky personality and hard-nosed approach often rubs her colleagues the wrong way, but her reputation as one of the world's best interrogator eventually wins over even her toughest critics.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
🧂 SALTING THE WOUNDS…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2005
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Crime / Drama / Mystery
PLOT SUMMARY
Deputy Police Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson transfers from Atlanta to LA to head up a special unit of the LAPD that handles sensitive, high-profile murder cases. Johnson's quirky personality and hard-nosed approach often rubs her colleagues the wrong way, but her reputation as one of the world's best interrogator eventually wins over even her toughest critics.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@POPCORN_CRITIC2025-12-05 09:00 UTC
The script for The Closer feels like it was entirely written by an algorithm fed nothing but energy-drink commercials.
@CREDITS_FLEE2025-12-03 00:00 UTC
Even the popcorn looked bored during The Closer.
@RATIO_RAT2025-12-01 14:00 UTC
The Closer confuses "subtle" with "the cast forgot to act".
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/movies · u/ReelTalkRanter🔥 3.6k points
Why does no one talk about how mid the writing in The Closer actually is?
Rewatched The Closer last night and noticed even more plot holes than the first time. The motivations don't track at all once you stop and think about act two.
💬 1,860 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/flicks · u/PopcornPhilosopher🔥 2.0k points
Hot Take: The Closer's third act ruined what could have been a masterpiece
Just got out of The Closer and I'm convinced critics are being paid in residuals. Two genuinely good scenes do not make a film. Convince me otherwise.
💬 1,270 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/criticalkino · u/PopcornPhilosopher🔥 0.5k points
[Spoilers] Can we discuss that absolutely baffling ending in The Closer?
Look, I wanted to love The Closer. The trailer had me hyped. But sitting through the second hour felt like a homework assignment. The dialogue is exposition stacked on exposition and the score keeps telling me how to feel.
💬 757 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD