@POPCORN_CRITIC2025-12-17 10:00 UTC
Counted the jumpscares in The Thing. Lost count. Lost interest. Refunded the popcorn emotionally.
1982 · Horror / Mystery / Sci-Fi
The Thing
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED18%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED24%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
— WHERE TO WATCH
🔥 The Devil Tomato is sniffing out streaming services…
ICE COLD · STRUCTURALLY PERFECT
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
No synopsis available. Probably for the best.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
🍅 THE DEVIL TOMATO IS LIGHTING A MATCH FOR THIS REVIEW…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
1982
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Horror / Mystery / Sci-Fi
PLOT SUMMARY
Synopsis withheld out of mercy.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@CREDITS_FLEE2025-12-24 06:00 UTC
The Thing: every character holds the idiot ball with both hands and a strap.
@RATIO_RAT2025-12-27 11:00 UTC
Watched The Thing so you don't have to. You're welcome.
@REEL_DEAL2025-12-13 20:00 UTC
If The Thing was a meal, it'd be unsalted rice with extra ego.
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/boxoffice · u/JumpCutJunkie🔥 3.0k points
The cinematography in The Thing is doing all the heavy lifting and it shows
Look, I wanted to love The Thing. The trailer had me hyped. But sitting through the second hour felt like a homework assignment. The dialogue is exposition stacked on exposition and the score keeps telling me how to feel.
💬 667 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/boxoffice · u/ScriptDoctor99🔥 1.5k points
Unpopular opinion: The Thing is the most overrated film of the decade
Honestly, The Thing would be a tight 95-minute movie. Instead we got a bloated runtime padded with B-roll and lingering shots that add nothing.
💬 1,290 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/boxoffice · u/FrameByFrameFred🔥 1.3k points
Why does no one talk about how mid the writing in The Thing actually is?
Just got out of The Thing and I'm convinced critics are being paid in residuals. Two genuinely good scenes do not make a film. Convince me otherwise.
💬 381 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD