@AISLE_GHOUL2026-01-02 17:00 UTC
If whispered monologues were currency, Rivals would settle the national debt.
2024 · Drama
Rivals
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED21%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED27%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
LUKEWARM · INOFFENSIVE
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
No synopsis available. Probably for the best.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
🔥 CHARRING THE SCRIPT…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2024
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Drama
PLOT SUMMARY
Synopsis withheld out of mercy.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@POPCORN_CRITIC2026-01-01 10:00 UTC
Rivals has the emotional range of a fridge magnet.
@CREDITS_FLEE2025-12-31 13:00 UTC
Rivals confuses "subtle" with "the cast forgot to act".
@RATIO_RAT2025-12-30 21:00 UTC
Even the popcorn looked bored during Rivals.
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/boxoffice · u/CinephileCynic🔥 2.6k points
Unpopular opinion: Rivals is the most overrated film of the decade
Look, I wanted to love Rivals. The trailer had me hyped. But sitting through the second hour felt like a homework assignment. The dialogue is exposition stacked on exposition and the score keeps telling me how to feel.
💬 1,597 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/flicks · u/ScriptDoctor99🔥 2.5k points
Why does no one talk about how mid the writing in Rivals actually is?
Rewatched Rivals last night and noticed even more plot holes than the first time. The motivations don't track at all once you stop and think about act two.
💬 186 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/boxoffice · u/FrameByFrameFred🔥 0.9k points
Hot Take: Rivals's third act ruined what could have been a masterpiece
Just got out of Rivals and I'm convinced critics are being paid in residuals. Two genuinely good scenes do not make a film. Convince me otherwise.
💬 1,209 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD