@AISLE_GHOUL2025-12-13 09:00 UTC
If Spider-Man: Brand New Day was a meal, it'd be unsalted rice with extra ego.
2026 · Action / Adventure / Fantasy / Sci-Fi
Spider-Man: Brand New Day
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED50%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED56%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
LUKEWARM · INOFFENSIVE
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
No synopsis available. Probably for the best.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
🧂 SALTING THE WOUNDS…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2026
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Action / Adventure / Fantasy / Sci-Fi
PLOT SUMMARY
Synopsis withheld out of mercy.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@POPCORN_CRITIC2025-12-22 06:00 UTC
Watched Spider-Man: Brand New Day so you don't have to. You're welcome.
@CREDITS_FLEE2025-12-11 11:00 UTC
The science in Spider-Man: Brand New Day has the same relationship to physics that I have to going to the gym: aspirational.
@RATIO_RAT2025-12-05 20:00 UTC
Spider-Man: Brand New Day is what happens when a writers' room confuses "ambiguous" with "didn't finish the draft".
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/criticalkino · u/JumpCutJunkie🔥 1.6k points
Hot Take: Spider-Man: Brand New Day's third act ruined what could have been a masterpiece
Honestly, Spider-Man: Brand New Day would be a tight 95-minute movie. Instead we got a bloated runtime padded with B-roll and lingering shots that add nothing.
💬 1,121 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/TrueFilm · u/ReelTalkRanter🔥 2.0k points
Why does no one talk about how mid the writing in Spider-Man: Brand New Day actually is?
Everyone praising the Spider-Man: Brand New Day performances must have watched a different cut. The lead is sleepwalking through this and the supporting cast can't save it.
💬 1,475 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/flicks · u/ReelTalkRanter🔥 1.1k points
The cinematography in Spider-Man: Brand New Day is doing all the heavy lifting and it shows
Rewatched Spider-Man: Brand New Day last night and noticed even more plot holes than the first time. The motivations don't track at all once you stop and think about act two.
💬 119 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/flicks · u/ExpositionDump🔥 3.2k points
Unpopular opinion: Spider-Man: Brand New Day is the most overrated film of the decade
Look, I wanted to love Spider-Man: Brand New Day. The trailer had me hyped. But sitting through the second hour felt like a homework assignment. The dialogue is exposition stacked on exposition and the score keeps telling me how to feel.
💬 125 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD