@REEL_DEAL2026-01-13 04:00 UTC
If I Swear was a meal, it'd be unsalted rice with extra ego.
2025 · Biography / Drama
I Swear
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED16%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED22%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
— WHERE TO WATCH
🔥 The Devil Tomato is sniffing out streaming services…
ICE COLD · STRUCTURALLY PERFECT
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
No synopsis available. Probably for the best.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
🌶️ SHARPENING THE HORNS…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2025
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Biography / Drama
PLOT SUMMARY
Synopsis withheld out of mercy.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@ROW_F_REGRET2026-01-06 15:00 UTC
Two solid hours of characters staring intensely out of rain-slicked windows. Brilliant work, I Swear.
@ENDING_LEAKS2026-01-18 03:00 UTC
Watched I Swear so you don't have to. You're welcome.
@SCREEN_SHADE2026-01-08 16:00 UTC
I Swear: proof the studio reads its own marketing too literally.
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/boxoffice · u/CinephileCynic🔥 2.3k points
[Serious Discussion] Is anyone else completely checked out by the pacing in I Swear?
Just got out of I Swear and I'm convinced critics are being paid in residuals. Two genuinely good scenes do not make a film. Convince me otherwise.
💬 284 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/TrueFilm · u/ExpositionDump🔥 2.8k points
Unpopular opinion: I Swear is the most overrated film of the decade
Honestly, I Swear would be a tight 95-minute movie. Instead we got a bloated runtime padded with B-roll and lingering shots that add nothing.
💬 548 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/flicks · u/ReelTalkRanter🔥 1.0k points
Hot Take: I Swear's third act ruined what could have been a masterpiece
Rewatched I Swear last night and noticed even more plot holes than the first time. The motivations don't track at all once you stop and think about act two.
💬 1,310 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD