@LATE_SHOW_LURKER2025-12-12 10:00 UTC
The Witness should come with a complimentary pillow for when the third-act CGI soup inevitably kicks in.
2026 · Crime / Drama
The Witness
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED35%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED41%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
LUKEWARM · INOFFENSIVE
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
No synopsis available. Probably for the best.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
🍅 THE DEVIL TOMATO IS LIGHTING A MATCH FOR THIS REVIEW…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2026
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Crime / Drama
PLOT SUMMARY
Synopsis withheld out of mercy.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@TRAILER_TROLL2025-12-21 18:00 UTC
The script for The Witness feels like it was entirely written by an algorithm fed nothing but energy-drink commercials.
@AISLE_GHOUL2025-12-11 05:00 UTC
I've seen screen savers with more depth and fewer unnecessary lens flares than The Witness.
@POPCORN_CRITIC2025-12-05 17:00 UTC
The Witness: proof the studio reads its own marketing too literally.
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/flicks · u/ScriptDoctor99🔥 1.2k points
[Spoilers] Can we discuss that absolutely baffling ending in The Witness?
Director clearly thought The Witness was deeper than it is. There's a difference between ambiguous and unfinished, and this leans hard into the second.
💬 274 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/criticalkino · u/JumpCutJunkie🔥 4.3k points
The cinematography in The Witness is doing all the heavy lifting and it shows
Rewatched The Witness last night and noticed even more plot holes than the first time. The motivations don't track at all once you stop and think about act two.
💬 1,033 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/criticalkino · u/PracticalFX_Stan🔥 3.5k points
Hot Take: The Witness's third act ruined what could have been a masterpiece
Look, I wanted to love The Witness. The trailer had me hyped. But sitting through the second hour felt like a homework assignment. The dialogue is exposition stacked on exposition and the score keeps telling me how to feel.
💬 1,085 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/boxoffice · u/BoomMicBoomer🔥 4.0k points
Why does no one talk about how mid the writing in The Witness actually is?
Honestly, The Witness would be a tight 95-minute movie. Instead we got a bloated runtime padded with B-roll and lingering shots that add nothing.
💬 703 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD