@RATIO_RAT2026-01-02 02:00 UTC
Capernaum has the emotional range of a fridge magnet.
2018 · Drama
Capernaum
BURN INDEX · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED16%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 ROASTS REGISTERED
SALT SHAKER · PLATFORM AVG
LOCKED22%
COMMUNITY LEDGER · 0 SALT SHAKES LOGGED
TOTAL LEDGER ENTRIES FOR THIS TITLE · 0 · LIVE
— WHERE TO WATCH
🔥 The Devil Tomato is sniffing out streaming services…
ICE COLD · STRUCTURALLY PERFECT
ICE COLD · 0–20%
Masterfully crafted. Un-roastable.
CERTIFIED COOKED · 71–100%
An absolute cinematic disaster.
No synopsis available. Probably for the best.
— THE CRITIC'S ROAST
🧂 SALTING THE WOUNDS…
— AUDIENCE VERDICT TAGS · LIVE10 TAGS
— THE DOSSIER
RELEASE DATE
2018
RUNTIME
—
GENRE
Drama
PLOT SUMMARY
Synopsis withheld out of mercy.
STARRING CAST
Cast information unavailable.
— SUBMIT A ROAST
Public Roast Feed
@REEL_DEAL2026-01-01 02:00 UTC
Capernaum confuses "subtle" with "the cast forgot to act".
@ROW_F_REGRET2025-12-31 09:00 UTC
Even the popcorn looked bored during Capernaum.
@ENDING_LEAKS2026-01-14 19:00 UTC
Capernaum is a cinematic experience designed specifically for film students who want to feel superior at dinner parties.
— FROM THE WILD
Unfiltered Reddit Outrage
Simulated r/movies discussion threads · curated commentary timeline.
r/criticalkino · u/ThirdActTrouble🔥 2.2k points
Hot Take: Capernaum's third act ruined what could have been a masterpiece
Just got out of Capernaum and I'm convinced critics are being paid in residuals. Two genuinely good scenes do not make a film. Convince me otherwise.
💬 429 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/criticalkino · u/ThirdActTrouble🔥 3.7k points
Why does no one talk about how mid the writing in Capernaum actually is?
Director clearly thought Capernaum was deeper than it is. There's a difference between ambiguous and unfinished, and this leans hard into the second.
💬 963 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD
r/flicks · u/FrameByFrameFred🔥 4.7k points
[Spoilers] Can we discuss that absolutely baffling ending in Capernaum?
Everyone praising the Capernaum performances must have watched a different cut. The lead is sleepwalking through this and the supporting cast can't save it.
💬 759 COMMENTS·SIMULATED THREAD